The Defiant Wife

She was beautiful, smart, married to a tycoon, and scared to death. Her husband had stupidly insulted their future king—and a war hero to boot. The lives of their household and workers were now in dire jeopardy.

A piercing reminder that she was married to a fool! Pigheaded with a thunderclap temper! What he had done this time was critical. Someone had to do something and fast.

She didn’t have time to track down Nabal and try to talk sense into him. Even if she did, he wouldn’t listen to reason from anyone, especially a woman—least of all her—Abigail—his wife.

What she had in mind would be defying her husband, but he was dead wrong. He had put many innocent lives in impending danger. At that very moment David and his men were arming themselves to retaliate, vowing that there would be no man or boy alive in Nabal’s domain by daybreak.

Abigail would take a risk for the greater good. Knowing there was no time to lose, she barely thanked the shepherd who had rushed to her with the heads-up. Spinning on her heel, she shot out orders to her house servants. David would get his request.

Food was fair payment for David’s band of men, who without fail had guarded Nabal’s flocks from marauders. Hadn’t their protection increased his prosperity? And it wasn’t as if her husband didn’t have plenty of food on hand today for the shearing festival!

As soon as humanly possible, Abigail sent ahead to David’s camp donkeys laden with wine-filled goatskins, cooked sheep and trimmings, two hundred loaves of bread, and fig cakes galore. Riding last in the caravan, she clung to the hope that the advancing food would soften David’s vengeful heart. But what should she say to him? Would her words carry enough weight to make a difference?

“It came about as she was riding on her donkey and coming down by the hidden part of the mountain, that behold, David and his men were coming down toward her; so she met them” (1 Samuel 25:20 NASB). So soon?

Like a flash, Abigail dismounted, fell down down at David’s feet, and took the blame for her husband. “Please,” she implored, “forgive the transgression of your maidservant” (1 Samuel 25:28 NASB).

She hastened to speak of possible future regrets: “And when the Lord does for my lord according to all the good that He has spoken concerning you, and appoints you ruler over Israel, this will not cause grief or a troubled heart to my lord, both by having shed blood without cause and by my lord having avenged himself” (1 Samuel 25:30-31 NASB).

“David then said to Abigail, ‘Blessed be the Lord God of Israel, who sent you this day to meet me, and blessed be your discernment, and blessed be you, who have kept me this day from bloodshed and from avenging myself by my own hand’” (1 Samuel 25:32-33 NASB).

Abigail did not submit to her husband and is universally praised for her kindness, courage, and wisdom. Some describe her as shrewd.


12 thoughts on “The Defiant Wife

  1. Judy, you have such a special gift to make stories come alive and real in the reader’s mind! So glad you are finding ways to share that gift. 😊

    Love, Suzanne

    On Tue, Sep 24, 2019, 7:10 AM Another Perfect Daughter wrote:

    > judyjourneys posted: “She was beautiful, smart, married to a tycoon, and > scared to death. Her husband had stupidly insulted their future king—and a > war hero to boot. The lives of their household and workers were now in dire > jeopardy. A piercing reminder that she was married” >

    Liked by 1 person

  2. When we did the Beth Moore study on David in the 90s at FBC, one homework assignment was to write an obit for Nabal…and good to be clever. A friend wrote: “Nabel fell numb, 10days later Nabel gone”. We laughed and laughed. This story and Abigail was always one of my favorites after I was grown. Thanks for you adding it to your blog. Take care. So good to see you and your honey in July. ❤ ❤


    • Also, I was impressed that Abigail immediately went to tell her husband what she had done. But she waited until the next day because he was too drunk to comprehend her “confession.” There’s a lot in that story. Thanks for sharing your anecdote. I often ask our “common denominator” how you are doing.


  3. Judy
    You have the gift of communicating a commentary on any passage in Scripture. With this commentary you show the side of a woman that discerns how to deal insightfully with a terrible situation and make it come out Victoriously!!
    Thank you Judy!


  4. I’ve been married 29 years to my high school sweetheart. I am always trying to just walk on egg shells and keep the peace as well. My husband is difficult and moody, wears a resting bitch face 24/7.I am lead to believe he’s always upset with me. He’s angry and has outbursts and makes Mountains out of molehills. Like when I bought vanilla extract and flour when we already had some and He blew up and called me and my kids morons and it was a stupid move etc. It was $2-3 dollars and I wasn’t sure we had it and we were baking so I made the executive decision to buy it and it set him off. I have no voice or opinion. If I do express a difference of opinion I’m told I’m negative and arguing and why can’t I just agree with him. He’s narcissistic and emotionally and mentally abusive which My therapist just identified recently. He doesn’t have an ounce of care or concern or empathy for me whatsoever. I’m feeling sad and hurt and cry often. I see couples laughing, light hearted and being fun together which I desperately want and need. My husband is a minimalist and gets mad if I talk to much or ask questions. He answers me yes or no answers mostly. I’ve gone on 8 hour car rides with him with no conversation. He’s stifled my bubbly outgoing personality and I’ve almost become like him. Quiet and downcast without a personality. I have two adult children Out of the house and an 15 year old son. I stay partially for them and also my self esteem is in the toilet due to all the put downs and anger and just never getting compliments or any affection, attention or touch. I have told him for years I need his emotional support which he can’t give. He saw his Dad be abusive to his wives and he doesn’t truly know how to express mature love. I am a broken woman. I’m so lonely and just a wreck. Why do a let him affect me so badly? I should find happiness elsewhere And try a new hobby and keep busy. I try to hang out with girl friends and laugh and have fun but always return to this mean man. I’ve Been contemplating separating but it’s so hard. I could survive on my own financially. I feel like I have him as an Idol in my life and up on this pedestal and I’ll be alright if he approves of me which I’m always looking for. As if my identity is wrapped up only in him. He’ll be kind rarely which I get my hopes up but it doesn’t last long. He moves in his alcoholic brother april of 2020 and he spends his every moment with him now. Talks to him so much more then me. I used to go to the market with him and take him to drop a car off for his work. Now the brother is asked to go everywhere and I’m left out. The brother has recovered but has no $, job, car and is 48. He has no plan. Is he to live with us forever? He doesn’t help much at all with anything. He had just recently been going with my husband to his 10 hour job daily. He follows him like a puppy dog and needs to get his own life. It’s putting a strain on my marriage even more so. But it’s my prob my husband believes. My husband thinks he goes to work and cooks and it’s never enough.He said I do what I think I’m supposed to and your not satisfied. And I complain about being left out with all of his relationships like his sister, his airplane, his brother etc. well hello if you don’t spend any time with me or make me a priority I am going to feel that way. He thinks it’s something “I’m dealing with” and doesn’t take any responsibility. I’m soo lost and hurting and alone. I’m a believer and I cry out to God for guidance but just don’t know what to do. Any advice or help would be so appreciated? Or anybody going through this that could encourage me? I’m so down in the dumps and I suffer with anxiety and depression. But was recently in remission and stopped meds now for about 9 mos and I don’t want to sink back in the dark hole again. Signed desperate for Love ❤️


    • Debbie, I hope you see this and reach out to me for encouragement. I have been married to an addict, emotionally neglectful and narcissistic man for almost 17 years now, so I know EXACTLY how desperately lonely and downtrodden you feel. As I sit here typing this, it’s 6am and my husband hasn’t returned home since he left for work yesterday morning — not because his job REQUIRES it, but by choice. This is an almost daily occurrence. I know what it’s like to be in despair because your husband makes you feel so unseen, insignificant and unloved. It’s a horrible and heartbreaking place to be. You may not realize it, but you are sooooo vulnerable to a possibly devastating attack by the enemy in this condition. Please keep your heart guarded and FLEE if another man shows you any kind of interest and/or kindness. What you may hear from him is the sweet sounds of the love and comfort your heart so desperately desires, but I PROMISE it’s actually just the wail from the grave!! It will lead you to a place of death and destruction. FLEE dear sister! Flee!
      God can and wants to use your pain and circumstances to change your heart in ways you can’t begin to imagine. If you’d like to connect, please feel free to email me:


  5. Debbie, you are not alone. I know other wives who are in circumstances similar to yours. Even though we see what appear to be happy marriages, we do not see what goes on behind closed doors. Many a wife is doing what an old song says, “I’m laughing on the outside, crying on the inside.”
    I am not a psychiatrist nor a psychologist; so I speak from my observation. Your husband will never change. You will have to change.Yes, you deserve to be his priority. Whatever his hang-ups are, he cannot or will not do that. So, you have to accept that and decide what you will do with that.
    Why does God allow this to happen to you? Here is what the apostle Paul discovered: “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God (2 Corinthians 1:3-4 NIV).
    Thank you so much, Debbie, for sharing your heart on this blog. I am praying for you. You will get through this.


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